layers and links: volume three.

"6 Reasons to Stop Everything and Be Inspired Today" by Glennon Doyle Melton.

"While the news shows us the loudest acts of evil from a few - the masses go about quietly doing good. Trying to take care of each other. Making sure that in our immediate and global communities, as often as possible - Love Wins. So, without further ado... I bring you today's GOOD NEWS, brought to you by our friends at CWS." 

"The Fire Girl Speaks" by Shelby Grosser.

"Recently I have experienced a frustrating amount of cat-calling and inappropriate statements from men in my city. None of these have been of a threatening nature, but nevertheless it's rather infuriating to be regularly objectified. One day in particular I decided to let out my frustration into some poetry. Thus emerged The Fire Girl Speaks. It's a bit of a spoken word piece, so perhaps I'll record it at some point, but for now, here are the words."

"When Prayer Becomes Control" by Cindy Brandt.

"We imagine alternative situations not with dogmatic certainty, but with hopeful possibilities. We don't pray against diseases, tragedies, and pain, we call forth new ways of living in spite of suffering. We pray not to explain the why, but to discover the how. We pray with song and dance. We use our voices and bodies to move with grace, to inflict beauty in a world of pain. Prayer creates space and expands room for all expressions of love."

"When Words Fail" by Benjamin Moberg.

"Art drew the pool of my mental energy to one corner of my mind, the artsy part, and in that move, it left the anxious and depressed parts to starve in some dark corner. It was an escape from life because, yes, sometimes you just need to escape for a season. And in that escape, in that wordless season, I unknowingly found God. I can only see him there in retrospect."

"the necessity of little w weddings" by the beautiful due.

"TIL DEATH DO US PART.
There's big D Death, the one
thought of when vowing
during the big W Wedding.
But equally vital are the little d deaths."                                                                          

in which i formally accept emma watson's invitation.

Emma Watson launched the new HeForShe campaign by delivering a speech on gender equality to the United Nations that earned her a standing ovation.

You can watch a video, as well as read the full transcript of the speech here.

As time has elapsed and more people have responded, I've had the chance to read and research many different views and reactions to her speech - both positive and negative. Taking the time to listen is usually a wise step during discussions, and I now can see some of the flaws in several parts of her speech that I once considered perfect.

For an article that brought up some extremely valid critiques and challenges, check out Black Girl Dangerous' post here.

So, while I definitely wouldn't say I agreed with everything she said, I do still believe that she had some beautiful, poignant, and challenging words to say in calling both men and women, girls and boys, to come together in unity and work toward gender equality around the world.

1. Feminism does NOT equal man-hating.

"The more I spoke about feminism, the more I realized that fighting for women's rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain it is that this has to stop. For the record, feminism by definition is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes."

Yes, yes, and YES again. For I too have known so many people that have equated the f-word with nothing but negativity - images of women rallying against stay-at-home moms and degrading men and holding onto some delusional idea that supremacy of one sex over the other somehow means equality. But just as there are radicals in every religious group and every political group, so are there radicals in feminism that have somehow managed to steal the spotlight and convince some that they own the stage, that there is nothing more to feminism beyond them.

And that's just not the truth, it's not the whole picture; it's a split second shard of an even greater story, one filled with justice and grace and hope for a better future where men and women can stand side-by-side as partners and equals. This is the beautiful goal feminism strives toward, even when it's slowed down by the haters and the extremists, the radicals and the backlash.

Now, I feel like it's become a rather controversial thing for men to identify as feminists, but I'm tired of beating around the bushes. I don't hate my own gender, nor do I value one gender over the other. Here's what it comes down to for me:

• I believe that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.
• I believe in the political, economic, social, and may I add spiritual equality of the sexes.
• I believe that both men and women are created in the image of God, and should be free to lean into their God-given gifts regardless of gender. 

I guess that makes me a feminist. Or maybe a Jesus Feminist (Sarah Bessey unpacks this term in her phenomenal book of the same title). It's because of him that I believe what I do, after all. It's because of the way he treated women in a society that demeaned them, like they had infinite worth and potential and beauty, like they were finally free and could breathe again (I'm sensing another blog post to expound on this... but that's for another time).

In the end, however, associating with the f-word is not the point. Like Watson said, "If you still hate the word, it is not the word that is important. It is the idea and the ambition behind it, because not all women have received the same rights I have."

I couldn't have said it better myself.

2. Gender is a spectrum, not a coin.

"It is time that we all see gender as a spectrum instead of two sets of opposing ideals. We should stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by who we are. We can all be freer and this is what HeForShe is about. It's about freedom."

In my Gender Studies course last semester, we talked about the Age of the Enlightenment, and how the idea of binary opposites really began to emerge during this time. Seeing that women used to be seen as a deranged and deformed version of men (resulting in the idea of just one sex), the Enlightenment saw a shift in that gender was treated like a coin - men or women, one side or the other, black or white, either/or but never and.

This is also when we started seeing other binaries become associated with the sexes, such as that of emotionalism and rationalism. Women were seen at the end of the emotional spectrum, while men dominated the rational end. Most of these haven't gone away today, either. I still hear them thrown about consistently, especially the emotional/rational one. I've heard too many people say that women aren't capable of leadership because they're too emotional.

But I have something to say to that, for whatever it's worth. That argument just doesn't quite stand up on its own when faced with someone that doesn't fit neatly into either end of the spectrum. The black and the white don't seem nearly as polarizing when a shade of gray gets mixed into the palette. It's hard to say that being emotional is for women when a grown man breaks down and sobs, opening up his heart and being vulnerable because it's a HUMAN thing to do, not a feminine thing to do. It's hard to say that being a rational leader is for men when one of the best leaders I've known and worked for in the past is a woman. Again, this doesn't make her any more of a man or any less of a woman - it simply makes her her, with her unique gifts and strengths that lean themselves toward leadership.

Watson hits the nail on the head with these few sentences. In order to gain true equality for the sexes, we've got to stop seeing gender in such black and white terms and start creating space for the grays and the blues, the pinks and the yellows, to paint our understanding with glorious watercolors. Like she said, it has to be about freedom, about dancing in the beauty of who we are, rather than trying and trying and trying to squeeze ourselves into cardboard boxes and pre-made roles.

In the end, no matter how we roll the dice, we just aren't very cookie cutter. Thank God for that.

3. Working toward gender equality has to include men, too.

"Men, I would like to give this opportunity to extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue, too... We don't often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are."

The issue is for all of us, just as equality is for all of us.

We're all held back by some sort of stereotypes and assumptions.

We're all in this together.

And I know it's cheesy, but when you strip away the rhetoric and the flashy language, that's really what she's saying. We're all in this together.

And it's so True.

For me, it was reading an essay in 11th grade english class on stay-at-home dads and realizing for the first time that they actually exist. It was having certain people look down at my work as a nanny because I wasn't as nurturing as women. It was taking the longest freaking time to open up about my insecurities and my fears, scared that people would just tell me to 'man up' or 'get over it,' as I've heard people say in the past. It was having people try to convince me to join the National Guard just like my sister did, because "now she'll be able to beat you up" and "you should follow in her footsteps," like I somehow needed to be threatened by her strength and bravery and determination and valor. It was getting called 'weird' or 'gay' or 'asexual' for loving singleness and not wanting a romantic relationship at this current stage in my life. It was all the times I've heard people tell other guys to "man up" when all they really needed was a hug.

And I'm just one person. Not only that, but a person with a tremendous amount of privilege. The plight of so many women across the globe is alarming and disturbing, as Watson poignantly pointed out when she said that, "my life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn't love me less because I was born a daughter." The international impact of gender inequality is astounding, and worth reading and learning about (see my starter list below). I always take a step back and have to sit with it for a while, often times with tears and prayer, after reading about international gender issues. I realize how fortunate I am to have been born where I was born, as a white male, to parents who loved me and cared for me. I didn't have control over any of these things, and yet for some reason, I was still afforded the privilege of all of them.

This often leads to a whole lot of, WHAT THE HELL, GOD? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PAIN AND INJUSTICE IN THE WORLD? WHY IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO JUST PLUG MY EARS AND NOT BE AFFECTED BY ANY OF IT?

Seriously. The truth is, I've been afforded the luxury of being able to close myself off and not have to worry about that many justice issues, if that's what I wanted to do. And it's easy to acknowledge these truths and nod one's head and affirm such facts as important. But this post isn't just about a speech. It has to be about more - about speaking up and taking a stand. The work is going to be long, it's going to be sweaty and challenging and painful and scary. But I have to believe that beauty will come through taking that next wobbly step forward, through opening up spaces to listen, and lift up, and learn, and through realizing that standing by and doing nothing only adds to the injustice.

If you're interested in taking the next step forward with me, here are a few of my own suggestions:

1. Do your research. Spend some time listening and learning, educating yourself not only on national issues, but international ones. Go to your local library and dedicate a few hours to reading, whether it be online or in books. And don't be afraid to sit with it for a while, to question and pray and grieve and yell. Don't know where to start? Maybe check out the book below:

• Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
• This is a challenging, informative, and often times heartbreaking look at the inequality facing so many women worldwide, filled with personal stories, dedicated research, and very practical ways to join in and help work toward equality.

2. Learn about, and possibly support, different organizations. There are actually quite a few awesome organizations out there that work consistently for gender equality, whether it be in the media, the workplace, the church, or society in general. Consider supporting one (or two or three) - whether that be financially, with prayer, or with time. 

• Catalyst (www.catalyst.org)
• An organization dedicated to expanding opportunities for women and business. Like HeForShe, Catalyst acknowledges men's role in this issue as well, letting them know that they have a critical role to play in creating inclusive workplaces.
• Christians for Biblical Equality (www.cbeinternational.org)
• CBE published my "man up" article back in May, and one of my classes was actually blessed to have CBE's president, Dr. Mimi Haddad, speak in our class for a day. They are doing incredible work in churches worldwide, striving to equip Christians to use their gifts to build the Kingdom of God regardless of gender, race, or class. There are so many ways to support CBE, it's not even funny. And if you live in the Minneapolis, MN area, consider interning for them!
• Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media (www.seejane.org)
• Remember step #1 back there? This website is the place to go if you're looking to educate yourself on female representation in the media. Geena Davis has created a fantastic organization with an easily accessible website to provide data, curriculum, statistics, and research on women and girls in media.
• The Representation Project (www.therepresentationproject.org)
• Another extremely informative and courageous organization that challenges sexist media and works to create social change. The Representation Project also tries to provide very practical steps to take to be a part of that change - sometimes something as simple as tweeting a message or posting a link on Facebook! I signed up to become one of their Social Action Reps, which is another easy way to stay informed, involved, and aware (make sure to check out their "Take Action" tab).
• HeForShe (www.heforshe.org)
• I couldn't forget the movement that inspired this blog post. Check out this website to learn more about the movement, take the pledge, and spread the word to others.

3. Talk to people. It's crazy how receptive and open I've found people to be when it comes to talking about this kind of stuff. Don't make it a conversation laced with hidden agendas or a secret goal to change someone's mind. Simply talk to them person to person, eye to eye, about what you've been learning and what you've been thinking. From my experience (which, honestly, isn't a lot), I've found that most people are willing to rally around something as important and overwhelming as the abuse of women, or the objectification of people, or the maternal mortality rate across the globe (just a few of the things that gender inequality affects). So don't be afraid to speak up for fear of causing friction or creating divisions. This is important stuff, and nothing's going to be done about it if it's not brought into the light and exposed, where we can see it and work together to help change it.

4. Pray. For those of you that pray, I ask you to lift up this issue in prayer, to saturate it with redemptive words of healing and power, asking God to be so very present in the lives of those affected by gender inequality. 

Pray for God to work through meek individuals and small conversations, the grass roots movements that are rising up to bring restoration to the broken and bleeding. For all the women that go missing every year, for the women with fistulas ostracized from their families and left to die, for the women, girls, men and boys sold into sex trafficking, for the high rate of young adult male suicides in the UK, for all of the ways gender inequality imprisons, threatens, and sometimes kills - pray for God's intervention. For his Holy Spirit to rain down Peace, Light in the darkness and Truth in the Lies. May we be ambassadors of reconciliation, working and striving and walking together toward shalom, the Beloved Community where the table is open and all are welcome. 

Pray for God's Divine Presence.

---

And now, to anyone reading this - what ideas do you have? What books or websites should I add to my list? Post a comment or shoot me an e-mail, I'd love to hear!

Thank you so much for the invite, Ms. Watson. I formally accept your invitation. How about you?

learning to breathe beyond the hometown.

It's been rather quiet over here the past few weeks.

Quiet on the blog, to clarify. Outside of that, my life has actually been pretty loud. And it's even felt like a bit of its own cardboard world, what with the moving boxes and all.

I decided to move to Duluth several months ago, but it was just recently made into reality, something I wasn't actually prepared for. I've never lived beyond my hometown, and while I know I'm a late bloomer at this whole 'moving out and away' thing, it still has been quite the transition learning to navigate an entirely new city. And by that, I mean learning to drive on funky-crazy roads, applying for jobs like a madman, trying to create some semblance of a writing schedule (...about that), and getting used to waking up and not having classes. Seriously. I think that last part has been the hardest, getting over this idea that I'm somehow more lazy or irresponsible for not having homework, but learning instead to plant myself and flourish in this current season. Because it will only be for a second, and then the seasons will shift; on toward another spring.

But I'm learning to love it here, I really am, and each day feels more and more like I'm where I'm supposed to be, even when I don't have it all figured out. Most days I still fall asleep with more questions than answers.

Isn't that just how life is most of the time?

I decided halfway through last semester that the intensive loads of homework didn't allow ample time to work on Yellowtree. I realized how passionate I had become about pursuing the craft of writing and specifically about finishing Yellowtree and trying to get it published, and yet had no time to do anything about it. None of my time spent writing ever felt peaceful, as there was always one more paper due, one more assignment to finish. You're never really done with schoolwork, you know? Which is kind of the point. It's a continual experience of learning and doing, working hard and then working harder, which I absolutely love. I still fully intend on returning to school after this next year to immerse myself in that process all over again.

But for this year, this season, it feels right to take some time to step away from the rush of the college environment, look around with wide eyes, and find God in new spaces. For I feel him so clearly when I'm writing, when I'm plugging away at a new chapter or a new blog post, and it's like breathing him in with each word sprung to life. I know God lives in the cracks and crevices of Yellowtree's sentences, and I get so excited thinking about having the time now to fully engage myself in the labor of taking what I've written and throwing it through the ringer a couple billion times.

This is the work of writing, and I'm so unbelievably excited.

Slowly, but surely, it's being woven into the daily rhythm of how I live life, like a muscle being trained and stretched, not all at once, but diligently over time.

There are still quite a few I don't knows (which I'm learning to be okay with, if you've read my last post). I don't know where I'm going to work, if I'll find a job sooner or later, where I'll go to church, or if I'll have success driving these perilous roads during the harsh winter. I don't know if I'll find Yellowtree a publisher, if this year will pan out like I'm hoping, or if it will end up completely crashing and burning.

But I do know that God is with me, that he's just as present here as he would've been had I gone back to school. I know that living in Duluth is like living on the freaking ocean, and that I feel closer to myself, to God, and to others when I'm breathing in the fresh air of a wide open space such as this. I know that I'm rooming with one of my close friends, and that there is so much joy in the small things, the day-to-day things, the simple living life things that help me feel like more whole of a person. I know that it is possible to wake up every morning and choose Love over hate, gratitude over complaints, and trust over fear.

The things I know aren't as clear cut or solidified as those that I don't. But spreading throughout all of them is something hopeful, something that tells me to keep walking forward and to keep on trying, with wobbly steps and shaking skin, to live in that place where there is no fear, there are no lies. To hold onto a childlike faith, those big open eyes that experience old and new things alike with the same kind of unfiltered excitement and joy. To take the time to slow down, look around, breathe in deep, and maybe learn something about the world while I'm at it.

Yes, this is my fresh air, and this is me learning to breathe it.

---

UPDATE: Part of having increased time for writing also means increased time for cultivating consistency on the blog. I do plan on falling into a routine and setting up a weekly schedule for posting that doesn't leave people guessing as to when I'll post next. This will be challenging, but I believe it'll be a healthy step forward. Until then!