All right, it's time for a story. Once upon a time (aka not so very long ago), I decided to drive down to see my friend a few hours away. At the same time, I thought I'd be helpful and plan out God's itinerary for him. Ignoring all of the fears and insecurities I have often struggled with in relationships, I assumed that since God works everything together for the good of those who love him, the time spent with my friend would be happy and easy-going and light and void of any pain. So yeah. That's how it was going to go. God didn't really need to have a say in it, because I can read his mind, which enables me to always know what's best for me.
Right. Back down in the place we call reality, I learned the hard way that God rarely ever goes by our pre-made plans that seek to squish him in the trunk with all of our baggage and leave us in control of the steering wheel. Before we can even leave town, we've crashed and it's over. All in all, the time with my friend was joyous and refreshing and awesome, but also extremely challenging, raw and downright vicious at times. God took all of my problems I tried so hard to stuff in the trunk and he hit me in the gut with it. And then he hit me again. And then I fell over and he hit me yet again. It forced me to confront the sticky, uncomfortable aspects of my heart, which in turn forced me to be naked and vulnerable, which in turn led me not only to a deeper, more authentic place with God, but with my friend as well.
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." --Romans 8:28
I pretty much took advantage of that verse by twisting it to fit my selfish, human definition of 'good' and attempting to make it resemble at least a tiny sliver of God's definition. You see, it wasn't until after visiting my friend that I truly grasped this concept. At least for me, I tend to see good as whatever makes me happy, comfortable and relaxed. Because that's the whole point of life, you see - my happiness, my comfort, my relaxation. Me me me.
And yet God calls us to something greater. God calls us to strive for his holiness, his perfection, his joy. The complete opposite of our self-absorbed hearts. It's not comfortable for us to look at that as good. It's not usually happy or relaxed, either. No, it hurts to have to let yourself go and surrender everything you are to the Lord. It's uncomfortable to admit that you can't go at it alone. It's tense and awkward and scary, because we aren't in control for once. I have a tendency to see good as a feeling, something that's fleeting, and if I'm not feeling good, then God obviously failed on his promise to work everything together all so I can have a nice feeling in my stomach.
But that goodness, that agape love is so much more than a feeling. It's not something that comes and goes like the wind, or something that can be ignored and jam packed in the trunk. No, it's something that takes up the whole car, bursting forth with such power and passion that we no longer have enough room to be in the front seat. Now we're the ones in the trunk, letting this grace-filled Breath of Love Light take the front and center stage.
That's a concept so utterly selfless and so not about me me me, that it's hard to grasp as 'good.' Because it means that a large chunk of that so-called 'good' is going to suck. It's going to be rough, and often times painful. But it's also going to be beautiful, because God knows no other way to be. His Love ends up being our good, because it's all that really matters in the end. When all else fades away, and the earth is stripped bare and our up-and-down-roller-coaster-feelings disintegrate, Love will remain. It will stand like a giant tree, planted in the dry cardboard our hearts so often resemble, and yet somehow manage to thrive, waving its branches back and forth in a celebration of praise and victory.
Yes, this is how God works things together for our good.
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