I hate that. Even that feels wrong, a debate. For the LGBTQ community isn't a debate. They're more than a theological disagreement or a raging sermon behind the pulpit or cardboard projects to twist and mold, tear apart.
They're people. Living, breathing human beings, created in the radiant image of God, knitted together with quirks and favorite colors and deep dark secrets and laughter to laugh and tears to cry.
Now, I'm not going to dive too deep into World Vision's decision, as that's not the main purpose of this post. Instead, I'll redirect you to a superb post by Jen Hatmaker that faithfully explains the dilemma and moves forward from there with grace and gentleness toward all sides. I will say that I agree with Rachel Held Evans when she said, "I had not realized the true extent of the disdain evangelicals have for our LGBT people." And while I believe World Vision should've expected the mass divide that making such a statement would cause, I'm still confused as to how withdrawing one's sponsorship of a child is a beneficial way to express one's opinion on same-sex marriage.
As I was searching for answers, I came across this blog post by Benjamin Moberg. While I don't agree with everything he talks about (more on that later), it hit me hard enough to lead me to take down my initial posting on homosexuality. Give it a read before continuing on.
Before I say anything else, I'd like to apologize for adding to the oppression unknowingly. There I was, trying to reach out in love to both sides and not alienate people and walk on the eggshells as lightly as possible. And in doing so, I created my own polarizing divide - the gays vs. the Christians. It's ironic, because I mentioned in that very post just how easily Christians make such ostracizing polarizations, not even realizing that I was doing it myself. In fact, reading through "The Accidental Oppressors," I actually felt like Benjamin Moberg was writing about my specific blog post at times. I continued to situate all gay people next to the woman at the well, simply because they were gay, and all Christians next to Jesus, doing nothing more than nicely rewording love the sinner, hate the sin, which, as penned by Moberg himself, is "lazy pseudo-progressive theology." I wasn't being progressive. I wasn't taking the middle path, no matter how many times I used the word "love."
Here's what I'm getting at - the LGBTQ community and the church aren't going to get anywhere together if we keep seeing it like that - the church people and the gay people, the saints and the sinners. Sexuality is not a dichotomy, not an either-or question that can be marked A or B. Even among the LGBTQ community, there are fiery activists who want nothing to do with Christians, but also couples passionately committed to Christ, radically working out his love into the hearts of others. And somewhere in between all of that are the gay Christians committed to celibacy. This can be seen throughout the church as well, from the stereotypical 'Bible-banging homophobes' to the full-fledged LGBTQ supporters to the ones standing in between. It's one big spectrum and I'm just now trying to figure out where I land on such a wide open field.
That is what I failed to realize in my original post. I unknowingly equated all Christians with 'anti-gays' who needed to love better, while making all gay people out to be the sinners in need of that loving, as if Christians weren't sinners and gay people couldn't be Christians. I think it's especially important to remember that, as a Christian, being a child of God becomes one's main identity. Sexual orientation, gender, race, class - none of these things make up one's entire identity, nor are any of them the most important part of one's identity. Whether you're a straight Christian, a gay Christian, a bi-sexual Christian, etc. - our most important identity as Christians is as children of God.
Now, I'm not saying I agree with everything Moberg writes in his post. While I do believe that the Bible is filled with stories of God stepping in for the marginalized, I don't think it's enough to stop there. To me, the Bible tells the story of humankind choosing to turn away from their Creator, and God choosing to respond with love and reconciliation, stepping in for all people so that all may experience His Peace That Surpasses All Understanding.
Still, most of Moberg's main, overarching points are so beneficial to hear and learn about. I now can see the laziness behind the "just love" argument that so pervaded my initial post. It's almost like a cop-out to the truth, something to fall back on because I was scared of taking a side or admitting something vulnerable like I don't know. There. I said it.
I don't know.
I'm currently on my own journey of searching for the truth, of being curious and looking in those small spaces and cracks often covered up by anger, by fear, by sheer cluelessness. Benjamin Moberg writes about this journey in his article, about studying the Bible and different theology and talking to gay people and always remembering to praypraypray. To pray "for an ear that pricks at divine revelation." To search out what God wants, rather than what gay Christians or traditional Christians or progressive Christians or anyone else want.
That is what I'm trying to do. In all honesty, I'm still a college punk trying to figure out who I am, so it feels like a bit of a roller coaster at times. Or all the time. I'd like to invite you along on this journey with me, as I know it'll be so much better in the context of community, with different voices to hear, opinions to sort through and stories to treasure.
Right now, I think it's good to stand in the tension. That heavy, kind of uncomfortable feeling that comes when we acknowledge the humanity of the entire spectrum, from the far left to the far right and every nook and cranny in between. Moberg absolutely nails it on the head when he writes in his article, "May We Never Stop Speaking,"
I am a gay Christian. I have come to feel the destabilizing truth of this declaration. It packs a punch. It pisses off the gatekeepers more than anything, and evokes a call to love and learn from those with searching hearts. It provokes conversations that are fruitful and drop seeds, into both our souls, as we learn the difference between hate and disagreement, gay pride floats and committed relationships, as we, as I, ply apart the person from the, now inflammatory, Evangelical.
I still have so much to learn, so many conversations to have. But the term gay Christian doesn't come up a lot, especially in the evangelical church, and so I think it's good to sit with that for a while and refuse to ignore the feelings it brings up. For me, hearing those words brings up so many different voices that I've recently been hearing, ones who identify themselves as gay Christians and ones whom I always associate with so much love. People like Justin Lee of the Gay Christian Network (and author of the phenomenal book, Torn), or Wesley Hill, author of the fantastic, Washed and Waiting. People like Benjamin Moberg himself - I have learned so much from simply reading the blogs of these people and listening to their stories, their points of view, their perspectives.
And since I've come to learn that being gay refers solely to one's sexual orientation, not their sexual behavior, I am more than fully convinced that one can be gay and a Christian.
I consistently find, not just through reading online, but from listening to the people around me, that some Christians associate being gay with having sex, objectifying gay people and reducing them to nothing more than sex acts. And it strikes me as strange, seeing that no one ever does this with straight people. When someone admits that he or she is straight, people usually don't assume that they're running around having sex all the time. It makes sense, seeing that having a sexual orientation is not inherently sinful. It's what one chooses to do with those desires and attractions that determine whether or not it's considered sinful through the lens of Christianity.
So, I will say it again, this time louder. I'll shout it from the mountain tops, because I just don't think enough Christians are comfortable embracing and supporting this belief, even if they agree with it. It's more of an under-your-breath, hope-nobody's-listening kind of thing. And that's got to be discouraging to the GLBTQ community. So, once again, I fully believe one can be a gay Christian and that there's nothing sinful or damning about it.
I'm not going to go beyond orientation and get into the debate over sexual behavior right now, because I've already admitted that I don't know. I'm walking this path slowly, steadily. But just because I took my initial post down doesn't mean I disagree with its main point of loving one another as Christ has loved us. I still plan on loving all people regardless of orientation, religion or stance on homosexuality, and I will try my best to weave that love into a consistent picture of grace and humility that is quick to listen and slow to speak.
But what does that love look like? What does it smell and feel and taste like, how is it spoken about and lived out in this life of Joy and Gentleness and Peace? I know there's so much more to sexuality and Christianity than what one measly blog post can contain and that's what I'm trying to work out, piece by piece and word by word, through the hearts of people and the Love Light of God that speaks deep into souls with its soothing, healing voice.
I'm going to be curious, I'm going to be relentless, I'm going to keep pushing and pushing some more and then when I'm so tired and worn down by God and think I finally might be getting somewhere helpful, I'm going to push some more.
And maybe then, just maybe, I'll catch a glimpse of what this love looks like.
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